SoMe ArSeNaL JoKeS (JuSt To BrIGhTen SoMeOnEs Day)

When is our anniversary

Maureen had had enough of Tim's obsession. "Football, football, football!" she moaned, "that's all you ever talk about. It's your whole life. You never take me out. You never buy me presents. You're either at a match or watching one on the box. I bet you can't even remember when our wedding anniversary is or what happened that day!!!"

"Yes, I can," her husband retorted, "it's the same date that Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0 on the last day to win the Premiership."

Value of a season ticket A woman was reading a newspaper one morning and said to her husband, 'Look at this, dear. There's an article here about a man who traded his wife for a season ticket to Arsenal. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?' 'Of course I wouldn't!' replied her husband. 'The season's almost over!'

She'll let you do anything

Ron and Terry were chatting about football in the pub after work.

"Are you going to the Arsenal v Spurs match on Saturday?" asked Ron.

"No," replied Terry. "My wife won't let me."

"It's easy to get out of that," said Ron. "About an hour before the game, what you do is pick her up, take her to the bedroom, rip off her clothes and make mad, passionate love to her. Then she'll let you do anything you want."

"OK, I'll try that," said Terry.

The following Monday, the two men meet up again in the pub.

"How come you didn't make it to the game," asked Ron.

"Well," said Terry, "I'll tell you what happened. About an hour before kick-off, I did as you said. I picked her up, took her to the bedroom and ripped off her clothes. And then I thought, Spurs haven't been playing that well recently anyways."